Chris Angel Murphy

In Ridgewood and at Rutgers, online and off, the death of Ridgewood teen Tyler Clementi is prompting calls to action from those who say bullying—in particular cyberbullying—is a blight that must be extinguished. Loved ones and sympathetic strangers are saying society must do more to keep those with non-straight sexual orientations from feeling like outcasts.

Clementi, a Rutgers University freshman and Ridgewood High School gradaute, killed himself by jumping off the George Washington Bridge after his college roommate and another student allegedly webcast Clementi having sex with another man. The two students are facing charges related to the webcast itself, but so far no charges related directly to Clementi’s death.

At Rutgers, the school has just begun a two-day conference on civility in the face of diversity; the event was scheduled before Clementi’s death. University President Richard McCormick noted the parallel concern in an e-mail he addressed the student body. He also pledged that the school would investigate the matter thoroughly, and told members of the Rutgers community that if the charges are true, “these actions gravely violate the university’s standards of decency and humanity.”

“I’m mortified,” said Samantha Hod, a sophomore at Rutgers University. “But all we can do now is come together as a community and stay strong for the Clementi family.”

And many community members said coming together means shining a light on the problems at the core of Clementi’s unexpected end.

To that end, students staged a “die-in” in support of Clementi Wednesday night, rallying for gender-safe, LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered)-safe housing. The fraternity Phi Delta Theta is organizing a memorial in front of Brower Commons on the school’s College Avenue Campus for 10 a.m. Friday. The fraternity brothers and other Rutgers students are expected to dress in black for the occasion.

“I chose Rutgers because it takes pride in being one of the most diverse universities in the country. This incident shocks me and I have already begun to see an uprising in the student body against this hatred,” said Alanna Kirschbaum, a sophomore at Rutgers University.

And many are looking past the immediate memorials and demonstrations, to what they say are ongoing problems for young people of all races, colors and orientations: cyberbullying and harassment.

“Tyler was very quiet but he was a really nice kid,” said a close friend of Clementi’s, Lisa Napolitano, “I’m truly in disbelief at what has happened. It’s sad how someone can be so cruel to even the kindest of people. Something really needs to be done to help prevent future cyberbullying and harassment.”

Arkady Leytush, the artistic director of the Ridgewood Symphony Orchestra, knew Clementi well—Clementi was regarded as a talented young musician who played with the RSO and other groups. He said Clementi’s death was a “loss to everyone who knew him” as well as a hard lesson.

“Kids that age are so vulnerable. I just don’t think people understand,” he said. “There are plenty of incidents where kids are hounded to death by their peers–it’s an educational thing.”

The Symphony Band will be meeting Monday and will be dedicating ts second concert in session in March to the memory of Clementi. Arkady called Clementi one of the most talented students he’d ever had the pleasure of instructing, and “an extremely giving person who used his talent admirably.”

Parent: Bullying a problem in Ridgewood Schools, too

Beatrice Bravo’s daughter Veronica knew Clementi from the high school band. She said the culture of bullying has to end, and it has to end now.

“There was a lot of bullying when my daughter was there [at Ridgewood High School],” Bravo said—though she wasn’t addressing online-focused bullying, and she added the school took quick and effective action once she threatened a police report after an incident. Superintendent Dr. Daniel Fishbein said that once the school is made aware of an incident of bullying, harassment or cyberbullying, an investigation is immediately begun.

Superintendent Dr. Daniel Fishbein said the school district has an extensive policy on harassment, bullying and even cyberbullying. He said it takes  such matters very seriously.

“Harassment or cyberbullying is not tolerated at Ridgewood schools,” the superintendent said.

According to the board’s  extensive policy, cyberbullying may result in law enforcement involvement, and penalties range from “positive behavioral interventions up to and including suspension or expulsion, as permitted under New Jersey.”

Still, Fishbein said he doesn’t think cyberbullying is a problem that starts in Ridgewood schools.

“Is it a problem in schools? No, it’s a problem outside schools,” Fishbein said. “The cyberbullying we deal with comes from outside the schools and comes inside the schools. It usually takes place at home and the parents bring it to our attention. We act quickly when we do find out.” But he added that the school is limited in what it can do when cyberbullying is inside the home.

Bravo said that with bullying, stress is another problem, and students feel so many pressures they sometimes don’t know where to turn.

“You just can’t take for granted that everything will be fine,” Bravo said. “It’s clearly not fine. This is the third suicide from a Ridgewood or former student in the last year.”

The Web responds

Clementi’s death and the events leading up to it were exceedingly public—for anyone with a Web connection. The alleged sex video was announced on Twitter, and Tyler told the world he was ending his life on Facebook.

But through those same mechanisms, friends, loved ones and others moved by Clementi’s story are tackling the subject of cyberbullying with a fast-paced rallying cry. A Facebook page dedicated to his honor continues to get several posts a minute, many of them pleading for the sort of civility and sensitivity that they say could have prevented Clementi’s death. Similar pleas are being made on Twitter.

Twitter user hotincleveland suggested institutions of higher education should make students pledge not to engage in cyberbullying.

“It may not prevent every case of cyberbullying, but it: 1. educates students and 2. sends a message of zero tolerance to each one,” the user wrote.

MarcailM, also on Twitter, wrote “I hope that laws catch up to technology so that cyberbullying is prosecuted seriously, and not with arcane statutes.”

Legislators pledge action

In a joint statement from state Sen. Loretta Weinberg, Assemblywoman Valerie Vainieri Huttle and Assemblyman Gordon Johnson (all D-Bergen), the three legislators pledged to revisit bullying and anti-harassment laws.

“Despite anti-bullying laws and efforts to teach children tolerance and acceptance, unprovoked acts of cruelty continue to take place, resulting in tragic deaths of youngsters across our country,” they said. “We must do more. … We have to teach our children to have respect for our differences, whether they are racial, ethnic, religious or gender-based. But we have to start with ourselves in order to achieve real change.”

—Olivia Slutsky contributed to this report.